Was in a gas station recently, and went to go consume my favorite drug of choice: caffeine. However, as I was perusing the various assortment of legal addictive substances mixed with sugary bliss, I passed by a section of beverages that was not so prevalent a decade ago: The Energy Drink Section.
I went to college. I know that life is a series of trade offs. I realize that sometimes you gotta sacrifice four night's sleep so that way you can be in a sleep deprived stupor for that last exam for that class you hate. I am just as guilty as the next insomniac.
However, as my eyes glazed over the labels like the doughnut machine at the Krispy Kreme shop, I saw some disturbing things on labels that I'd like to share. These are the ACTUAL labels:
Caution: HIGH CAFFEINE CONTENT... OKAY, WE KNOW THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DRINKING IT BUT OUR LEGAL GUYS WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FEED IT TO KIDS, WOMEN WITH A BUN IN THE OVEN, OR THE WEAK WHO JUST CAN'T TOLERATE IT
(First off, I think the guy/gal who wrote this was on said energy drink and, therefore, can not help shouting this warning, even in print. Second, it almost seems like they're enticing you. "Don't feed it to kids" "Your baby will be born with muscles" "You're too weak for OUR drink... neener neener neenee!")
FREEK: (The rest of the label is not necessary. Not only does this advocate illiteracy, but I'm scared about people who feel the need to consume a liquid to "get their freak on" (the label's slogan)).
Cocaine: This message is for people who are too stupid to recognize the obvious. This product does not contain the drug cocaine. This product is not intended for any other use but an energy drink. (Sure... yeah... okay... I beLIEve you.)
RED STUFF: Energy Drink (A least they seem to be less misleading about what is really IN the drink)
There are many more, but I think you get the point. I think I'll stick to the original energy drink: coffee. But then again, I saw some coffee the other day that was "Gensing infused"...
IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?
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